Thursday, April 2, 2009

Mon oncle d'Amerique

Where would kids be without uncles? Who would blow cigar smoke in their faces and make them fetch beers? Who would bequeath unto them wrinkled stacks of old Playboy magazines? And who would teach them the most critical of white guy communication skills - the famed "High-Five"? Who indeed.

Friday, March 13, 2009


No one likes to be caught out in the open - especially on a big bed. When spotted, you must scurry immediately for cover and then dig brother, dig.

Rubber Leg Street

It's time to start wearing big boy shoes, although our subject is so far not entirely sure what to make of these confining contraptions. He found speeding around in the slipper-esque soft sole shoes easy as pie, but with spring and its accompanying outdoor excursions rapidly approaching, he needs to master footwear with real heft. At this point his walking style in these could only be described as "drunken" or "Frankenstein-ey," but practice will no doubt make perfect.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

An erstwhile classic

I hereby issue this guarantee: Peek-a-boo will never go out of style as far as babies are concerned. They straight-up love it. You can slap fancy terms on it like "learning object permanence" and the like, but the fact is that a regular ol' towel moved up and down beats the tar out of a creepy robotic Elmo doll any day. And I think we can all be thankful for that.

Give the people what they want

One of the earliest lessons you learn in show-biz is that if something gets a laugh, you keep doing it. So when you try and remove your bib and it gets stuck on top of your head, and the big people in the room laugh, by all means - lather, rinse and repeat. Another valuable lesson here is that just because something wasn't specifically designed to fit on your head doesn't mean it won't make
a fine hat.

Free the prisoner

It's human nature to rebel against being caged or penned up like a common animal. Some shout, some bang their tin cups against the bars, and others? Others simply bounce. Behold - a 1.5" vertical leap.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Peas and speech therapy

Here we see our young subject eating peas freshly shucked from the pod (OK - freshly squeezed forth from a bag). The boy is learning to speak, and at this rate should be quoting whole episodes of "Welcome Back, Kotter" by age 3. Viewers should rest assured that the lad managed to cough up the pea remnant that was troubling him and proceeded to polish off the rest of his dinner no worse for wear.